Wednesday 12 December 2012

Why I Always Sucked in Creative Writing Class

I hate the feeling of wanting to create so badly, but not having any inspiration or creative juices left. It sucks. I feel like I have a huge creature made of ideas just bursting at the seams to escape its imprisonment in my mind, and I've lost the key to its cage. This happens way too frequently for my liking. To my chagrin and deepest irritation, I find more often than not that no matter how stoked and enthusiastic I am to sit down and create something, I can never actually pull it off unless I am in the exact right mood. Usually if I sit down and try to produce something, even if I have a definite idea and concept in my mind, I just can't do it. I'll sit there for hours, staring at the one or two lines I've written down, desperately trying to come up with something to follow. No, in those rare occasions where I succeed at creating something, even if it's of questionable quality, it's because I was struck with the sudden desire to write, play, or record something I didn't want to forget. The inspiration hits me like a tidal wave, and I am washed over with words that I feel I have to scramble to capture before they drift away. 

This is why I wasn't always good in the various creative writing classes I've taken. My teacher would give us a warm-up prompt with a time limit on it, and I was never sure what degree of success I would have with it. Depending on the prompt, I would either be wildly victorious and be confident enough to read my creation out loud to the class, or I would sit there, staring at the words, questions or photograph or whatever it was that was on the board, determinedly trying to think of something innovative. I would ultimately end up scribbling down something mediocre near the end of the allotted time, often times crossing it out later because of how atrociously impossible it was to expound upon. I was generally relieved to receive assignments, because that meant that instead of having to pounce on a subject and furiously and frenziedly produce a piece, I could have time to write, and hope that the aforementioned wave of inspiration would hit me at some point before my work was due. Sometimes it would, sometimes it wouldn't, but usually if it was a prose-based assignment, I could crank out something moderately above-average if I really set my mind to it. 

It's interesting, because when I was younger, I never used to write prose. I've always had an affinity for writing; when I was really little, I used to keep a diary. It was purple, argyle-patterned leather, with Pocahontas and her raccoon friend on the front. I started writing in it pretty much as soon as I could write, and kept it solidly until I was about 12 years old. At that point, the entries became few and far between, sometimes stretching over a whole year before I would write something new. Once I was a teen, I started unintentionally accumulating stacks of notebooks, most of them relating to school in some way, in which I would write short, rhyming poems. They mostly consisted of simple a, b, a, b schemes, or sometimes a, b, c, b or whatever. If I was feeling particularly adventurous I would meddle with other rhyme schemes, but all of my poems always rhymed. I didn't dabble in prose too much at that point. I was like, 14, and I was primarily writing about boys and other such topics, and what better way to do it than nursery rhyme style? It wasn't until I got older and really interested in reading that I decided I wanted to try writing short stories and other prose pieces. Before that though, in my rhyme phase, it was easy for me to just sit down and write about anything. As I've gotten older, I've grown out of the poems and have discovered that it's much easier for me to write prose most of the time. When the wave hits, however, I still like to compose poems if the mood allows me to. It's an interesting switch, but I guess it probably says something about my life or my personal growth and development or something. I've grown out of the fantastical nursery rhymes and grown into more realistic compositions. I'll always be a bit of a dreamer though. 

Thursday 11 October 2012

Fiji!!



Finding My Place in the World

Before my trip here I knew I wanted to travel, but somehow it always seemed kind of far-fetched and not easily attainable, because I had never met anyone who wanted to travel like I do. I want to leave my country for months at a time and just live somewhere new, and I wasn't sure if there were any other people out there doing that. Since I have been here in New Zealand, and recently in Fiji for two weeks, I have met so many people from so many places who are travelling. They're just out in the world and going places for months, years sometimes. They decided they wanted to see the world so they up and left home and are just going. Some of them know for how long and what their game plan is, some of them don't and are just planning their next step as they go along. I think that's so awesome. Almost all of the exchange students I have met here are doing some amount of travelling after the semester is over, and I have met infinitely more people in Fiji over the last two weeks that are doing the same thing. They're young, they have time, and they're enjoying life and doing what they want to do because they can. I met two girls from Wales who quit their jobs so they could go travelling for 4 months. They've been all over the place and are having the time of their lives. I met another two girls who are from England and are travelling all over Australia and have been moving around the country for 8 months now. Today, I met another American who was at the start of her journey and was on her way to New Zealand to begin her travels, which she was planning on lasting for a year. I met a guy from Germany who just moved to Brisbane to work and travel. I have made friends with some Austrians who are ending their semester here in November, but aren't going to be home until February because they're going to tour the rest of New Zealand and then the United States afterwards. I want that! Meeting all of these awesome people from awesome places who are travelling and going places because they can has made me realize a few things: 1) whenever I do decide to settle down somewhere, I don't want to live in the US. 2) There are so many interesting people in the world and I don't want to miss out on meeting them because I have to stay cooped up in the same place forever, and 3) the world is so beautiful and I want to see it all. There's a quote that I really believe in, especially now, "The world is a book and those that do not travel are only reading one page." I have to travel. I want to travel so badly and see the world while I'm young and can do it. Meeting all of these other people who are doing just that has really inspired me and opened my eyes. It's made me realize that America is not the place for me. At least not permanently. I have always thought that travelling is important, and I believe in that even more now. Americans don't advocate travelling enough. I know plenty of people who have never left the country or even their state, and never intend to because they don't know what they're missing. I have met people here who live in Europe and travel all the time; partly because of the ease it of, what with Europe being comprised of so many small countries. If I had never decided to come on this exchange semester, I would have never met any of these people, and although I knew before that I wanted to travel, the idea has become that much more reinforced in my mind now. Some of the most interesting and independent, creative, generous, and intelligent people are those that I have met here and while abroad. I know now what creed of people I belong with and I feel really fulfilled and like my life finally has a definite direction and purpose. Even though I don't have everything figured out life-wise, I know who I want to be, where I want to go and what kind of people I want to spend my time with, and I think that's a pretty good start. 

Friday 17 August 2012

Hobbitton


Just. This song. Listen to it.




Milkquarious

This is, without a doubt, the most awesome video ever and really shouldn't been so hidden. This thing used to have its own website. I don't know what happened with that but be prepared to witness the awesome.


MILKQUARIOUS from +JOE HURSLEY+ on Vimeo.

Rotorua Weekend!





Brave New World

As of yesterday, I have been in New Zealand for a whole month. One more day and it will be the absolute longest time I've ever been away from home. It's so incredibly crazy to think it's already been that long, because at times it feels like it's been forever since I've been home, and at other times it feels like I just got here. I've met so many new amazing people here that I really hope to stay friends with in the long run. I can tell that I am growing as a person and becoming much more independent and self-sufficient. I've been working out almost every day since I got here! At home I felt like a trapped sloth; lazy with nothing to do and no way to escape. This trip as been such a great escape. I feel so free here. I feel like I can conquer the world if I want to. I feel like I can do ANYTHING I want to do if I really set my mind to it. It's an extremely liberating feeling. I want things to be different when I get home. I knew before I left that I would change as a person, but I didn't know how much or even just how. I realize now that things will never be the same for me after this. This experience is truly a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing and I don't want things to revert back to how they were. I don't want to lead such a simple life. I want to be adventurous and daring and travel everywhere I want to go. There is so much more to the world than your hometown. I know lots of people at my school at home that have never even considered traveling/studying abroad. I feel bad for them, because those people are missing out on the world. There is so much to see and do and so many people to meet and things to learn; it's a travesty to stay at home. I just feel so much better as a person here. I'm so happy all the time. I have really loved being totally in charge of myself. Sure, I'm used to making my own decisions at this point in my life, but living by myself in a totally new country is a completely different level of independence and decision-making. I've gotten to go out and explore Auckland and the area around it a few times by this point, and I've been on a weekend trip to the town of Rotorua as well, and it's so thrilling to meander through a city that you've never been to before. The feeling of going out by myself and just going where ever I want to whenever I want to is awesome. I will make my life the way I want it to be. I realize now that I have the power to do that and I am excited to see how I will continue to grow while I'm here. This post is super unorganized and incoherent, but, oh well.